


Shit Outta Luck

by orphan_account



Series: Movie AUs [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Just My Luck AU, M/M, Movie AU, Some may be ooc, renamed to match more shamelessy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: As the luckiest man in the world, Ian Gallagher has a wonderful life, which all changes after he kisses a stranger at a costume party. He sees everything turn into a living hell, as he realizes that he has unwittingly exchanged his good fortune for the stranger's bad luck. (Just My Luck AU - don't have to have seen the movie to read this!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I am very shit at finishing Movie AUs (see almost any other movie AU I've done) I am shortening this and not completely following the movie. No scenes will be removed that you won't be able to tell what's going on. Hope you guys like!

Ian Gallagher had always been lucky. He couldn’t help it — it’s just the way it’s always been for him. Maybe it was the universe’s way of making up for landing him in the Southside of Chicago. Despite where he lived, every day something good happened to him. And, in turn, his family.   
  
    Ian getting a full ride into college ended up being the best bit of luck yet, and then when he immediately got a job in New York City right out of college, it was like he hit the jackpot. First, he moved out and into the big city, before making enough money to move his sisters and Liam out there too. Carl liked Chicago and was old enough to stay back, so he did. Lip was fairly lucky too — though not as lucky as Ian — and ended up moving to the Northside and was happy enough there. He bought Fiona, Debbie, and Liam an apartment in Brooklyn that they loved, despite his arguments about it being too small for them. He got his own apartment, which was the one thing he had always wanted. It was a good life.   
  
    And, on this particular day, he was running late — not that he was worried. As he exited his apartment building, and headed to the doorman, it was pouring down with rain.   
  
    ‘Morning, Oscar!’ Ian called out.   
  
    ‘Morning, Mr. Gallagher!’ Oscar called back, holding his hand up for a cab. ‘Finding a cab may take a while in this mess.’ He frowned for a moment at Ian, before asking, ‘No umbrella?’   
  
    Ian frowned up at the sky. ‘You really think I need one?’   
  
    Then, as if by magic, the rain slowed down and the sky cleared up. Oscar looked up in shock before grinning at Ian, who smiled back. ‘Guess not!’   
  
    The cab finally stopped and Ian headed towards it, thanking Oscar and bidding him adieu. As Ian was getting in, he saw a twenty dollar note under his shoe and smiled before picking it up and shutting the cab door behind him.   
  
    ‘66th and Broadway. Need to be there in four minutes, please,’ Ian told the cabbie, who scoffed back at him.   
  
    ‘Yeah, right. That’s gonna happen.’   
  
    Ian chuckled to himself before dialling his sister’s number. Unsurprisingly, a radio host answered and asked him to tell him their mystery song. ‘Oops, I did it again. Sorry!’ As he was hanging up, the radio announcer was telling him he’d won. Ian sighed, dialling his sister’s number again.   
  
    ‘Holy shit!’ the cabbie exclaimed. ‘That’s five greens in a row. What the fuck?’   
  
    Finally, Fiona answered. Ian told her he was running early and he would stop at the local coffee shop, offering her and Debbie a muffin. Fiona thanked him before hanging up. Ian shrugged at her blunt dismissal, knowing she was really busy. Ian had managed to get them hired at the PR company he worked for, and they were really thankful. Fiona was an assistant for HR, and Debbie only worked in the mail room and at the reception desk for now.   
  


* * *

  
    Ian wandered out of the cab and towards his work, fixing his hair in the mirror that was luckily lifted in front of him as some men went to move it. After he was done, he strode past them into the building. He had almost made it to the elevator when it shut on him. Frowning, he spun around and waited until another one opened. He smiled as one did and went to go into it when someone yelled out for him to hold it. He quickly stuck his hand out and grinned as a handsome man came into the elevator.   
  
    ‘Thanks,’ he breathed and grinned back at Ian.   
  
    Ian’s grin shifted into a smile as he looked away coyly.   
  
    They managed to get into conversation and by the end of it, Ian had a date. He smiled at his soon-to-be date before heading into work. As he walked through the doors, he greeted Debbie.   
  
    ‘Why are you so chipper?’ Debbie frowned, looking up from her computer.   
  
    Ian grinned, handing her the business card he had just recieved. ‘Brad Pitt and Jude Law had a baby, and I just met him in the elevator.’   
  
    ‘What?’ Debbie squealed, immediately following him.   
  
    As Ian passed Fiona, he handed her the muffins and continued on towards his desk. Fiona followed quickly, staring at Ian’s new leather jacket.   
  
    ‘Is this new?’ Fiona asked.   
  
    Ian nodded, looking back at her. ‘Yeah. Got it half off and everything. Can you believe it?’   
  
    ‘And his jacket met someone,’ Debbie added, appearing almost out of nowhere to hand Fiona the business card.   
  
    ‘ _David Pennington_. Owner of the Boston Celtics, David Pennington?’ Fiona clarified, eyebrows furrowing.   
  
    Ian scoffed, settling into his seat at his desk. ‘I’m over my grandpa phase. It’s his son.’   
  
    Fiona arched her eyebrows, nodding. ‘Impressive. Anyway, I, too, had a really great morning. Apparently Saturn is in line with Neptune. At least, that’s what Debs tells me.’   
  
    Debbie grinned, hopping up to sit on Fiona’s desk.   
  
    Ian rolled his eyes. ‘Debs, you know those things aren’t exactly factual.’   
  
    ‘Whatever.’ Debbie rolled her eyes. ‘But I have news about my new song — it got rejected again. Still, gotta be positive — one door closes, two doors open.’   
  
    ‘Speaking of doors, the Phillips meeting,’ Fiona prompted, looking at Ian pointedly. ‘When is it?’   
  
    Ian looked at his phone. ‘Now!’ Standing up and grabbing his laptop, he headed off into the meeting to take notes. He only hoped one of these days, he would be the one in charge of the meeting himself.   
  
    Only, when he walked in the room, no one was there. He frowned, staring blankly at the table and waiting. He quickly set up his laptop as Mr. Phillips walked in, talking on his earpiece. He waited patiently until Mr. Phillips was off the phone.   
  
    Mr. Phillips looked up at Ian, frowning. ‘I thought we had a meeting.’   
  
    ‘They’ll be here soon!’ Ian promised, knowing his only job right now was to keep him here. ‘If you’d care to wait…’   
  
    ‘Wait?’ One of Mr. Phillips’ lackeys echoed in shock. ‘This is a big insult. D doesn’t wait for anybody.’   
  
    ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ Lackey 2 agreed. ‘No one, okay? And he is furious. Ain’t that right?’   
  
    Mr. Phillips looked up at Ian seriously. ‘It’s true. I’m furious. I can’t afford to waste any time. I make 603 million dollars a year, which is nine hundred dollars a minute, and each minute of my time costs me money. And this is a waste of my time.’   
  
    Ian gaped at them, unsure of what to do. Finally, an idea burst into his head. ‘I completely understand that. If you could just give me a moment, then I will start. If it’s not worth the minute, I will give you one thousand dollars. Because, personally, I think you’re underpaid.’   
  
    Mr. Phillips sniffed, before gesturing for Ian to begin. ‘Hope you have your cheque book.’   
  


* * *

When they left the meeting, Ian had never felt more confident…until his boss, Ms. Braden, approached them in a panic.   
  
    ‘Damon! I’m so sorry to keep you waiting,’ Ms. Braden apologised quickly.   
  
    Mr. Phillips nodded. ‘No need. Mr. Gallagher just pitched me your entire PR strategy. It’s brilliant. Especially the part about the party — the masquerade bash thing! I love it.’   
  
    Ms. Braden nodded along, clearly pretending to know what he was on about as he left. Once the doors had shut behind him, she spun around to look at Ian, who immediately shrunk on the spot. ‘Masquerade bash?’   
  
    ‘I’m really sorry, Ms. Braden,’ Ian apologised. ‘I just took notes at other meetings, and improvised from there.’   
  
    Ms. Braden pursed her lips before saying, ‘Well, looks like you’ve got a big party to plan. Of course you’ll need your own office, and a company credit card.’   
  
    Debbie grinned at Ian from behind her, almost bouncing on the spot.   
  
    ‘Yeah, okay, thanks, Ms. Braden!’ Ian grinned.   
  
    ‘Oh, Ian, from now on, it’s Peggy.’ Ms. Braden smiled. ‘And don’t worry. I’ll be watching your every move.’   
  
    It only occurred to Ian then that this might be the best moment of his career so far. Now all he had to do was find his boss a date so she wouldn’t be micromanaging him the whole time.   
  


‘Did you fuck?’ Debbie asked bluntly and Fiona almost spat out her sushi.   
  
    ‘No,’ Ian huffed in a little bit of annoyance. ‘He was a gentleman. Apparently, he was all set to do it and I was all set to do it, but he told me he thought I was _precious_ and had to be treated as such.’   
  
    ‘Treating you nice is boning you when you both want to,’ Fiona scoffed. ‘Not this careful crap.’   
  
    ‘Why have you got that glow thing going on then?’ Debbie asked, waving her chopsticks at his face.   
  
    Ian smirked. ‘Well, I suppose we did kiss, but it was also on a private jet. Either way, we got another date.’   
  
    ‘Holy shit!’ Fiona sighed. ‘I can’t stand this. You have all the luck.’   
  
    ‘Oh, here we go again.’ Ian laughed. ‘Tell me again why you think I have this magical luck?’   
  
    ‘Well,’ Debbie began, ‘You did get that full ride into college.’   
  
    Ian furrowed his eyebrows. ‘And?’   
  
    ‘It was one you didn’t even apply to because you didn’t think you’d get in!’ Debbie laughed. ‘And it’s not like you were anything special in high school, they shouldn’t have known who you are!’   
  
    ‘Well, that doesn’t mean anything.’ Ian grinned.   
  
    ‘Shut up.’ Fiona gave him a flat look. ‘Just shut up.’   
  
    ‘Look, we will take a test,’ Debbie said. Opening her bag, she brought out a scratch lottery ticket. ‘I was saving this, but, here, you do it.’   
  
    Ian rolled his eyes but grabbed it out of her hands, scratching away. ‘This is so stupid…’   
  
    When he trailed off, Fiona looked over his shoulder. ‘You fuckin’ won!’   
  
    Ian laughed, shoving the scratcher back at Debbie before checking his watch. ‘Shit, we have a walk-through with Peggy in ten minutes!’   
  
    ‘Well, we’ll never make that,’ Fiona scoffed.   
  
    ‘See, Fiona,’ Ian began, standing up and pointing at her. ‘You don’t have any positive thinking. That’s your problem.’   
  
    ‘Go fuck yourself,’ Fiona sung, standing up and following him out, both waving bye to Debbie.   
  
The walk-through went so well Ian was almost shocked. The main idea that made Peggy’s eyes go wide was: ‘I want people to feel like anything could happen here.’ As Peggy nodded with a grin, Ian knew that the night would have that exact atmosphere.   
  
    It was going to be one hell of a night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most luck Mickey Milkovich had ever had was getting the fuck outta Chicago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for Mickey!!

The most luck Mickey Milkovich had ever had was getting the fuck outta Chicago. He ended up in New York City after finding out that Mandy and Iggy had started a band. They wanted to move there to make it big, and they asked Mickey to be their manager since he was the smartest out of them. Taking pity on the wife and son he never really wanted, he invited Svetlana and Yev along for the ride. Now he was living in New York City with what he would call his family (even Svet and Yev, who had both grown on him despite their roots), and he was still shit outta luck.   
  
    Mandy and Iggy were talking about moving back home since they weren’t really getting anywhere with their band. Due to Mickey’s luck, although Mandy said it was his rudeness, they hadn’t been signed yet. The best they got was working at a bowling alley, where the owner would let them play sometimes. Mickey couldn’t have that. He had tasted a life away from their father and fuck it if he was going back. All he had to do was pretty much chase around the most famous music exec — Mr. Damon Phillips. Although, it felt a lot more like stalking.   
  
    Mickey watched as the businessman began to take his little dog for a walk. He rolled his eyes as he noticed it was wearing a tiny fuckin’ sweater. He took a deep breath, eyes following the man as he began to practise what he was gonna say. ‘Good morning, Mr. Phillips. I wanna introduce you to the fuckin’ hottest band in New York City.’ Mandy had told him that one, but reminded him time and time again not to swear. He would try his best, but to him he sounded more passionate when he swore.   
  
    Mickey went to follow him and accidentally stepped in a huge puddle, completely soaking through his shoe. ‘Fuckin’ perfect.’   
  
    He sighed before looking down to see a penny. _See a penny, pick it up, and all day, you’ll have good luck_. Shrugging and figuring it wouldn’t hurt, he leant down only to rip a huge hole down the back of his baggy jeans. Not that he was embarrassed of his ass — he’d actually had pretty good reviews in the past — but it didn’t make for a very good first impression. Sighing, he grabbed the back of his pants and raced across the street to catch up to him.   
  
    He had finally spotted him and raced to follow him, only to run into a jogger. ‘Fuck!’   
  
    They both fell over and the guy started hitting him, yelling at him to get off. Mickey kept trying to stand up, getting tangled in his shit and almost falling over when he kept hitting him. Mickey finally managed to stand up, and his pants fell down.   
  
    ‘Fuckin’ get away from me!’ the jogger screeched.   
  
    A cop immediately began to chase after him as Mickey ran away, pretty used to this. Finally, as Mr. Phillips got into a town car, he stopped, holding up the CD and yelling at the guy to pay attention to him. His pants immediately dropped and he sighed, looking down at his boxers as the cop finally caught up and tackled him.   
  
    As the cop handcuffed him, Mickey huffed, ‘Officer, can you take me to the 36th precinct? They’re nice to me there.’   
  


* * *

Mickey finally got let out two hours later, returning home and knocking on Svet and Yev’s door.   
  
    ‘Yevvy, I’m home!’ Mickey called out, heading towards his own apartment.   
  
    He had gotten one for himself because Svetlana made enough at the hospital to live on her own, and Mickey made enough to live on his own. He took Yev nights when Svet was working, and it all had worked out fine. Besides, Mickey had never loved alone and cherished that alone time.   
  
    Yev opened the door. ‘Hey, Dad.’   
  
    Mickey turned around. ‘Hey, kid. Whoa, what the fuck happened to you?’   
  
    ‘Some boys glued a Power Ranger toy to my face,’ Yev said in defeat.   
  
    Mickey sighed, leaning down and grabbing a cotton ball and some alcohol from his bag. ‘I want you to beat the shit outta those little assholes next time. Didn’t I teach you how to make a fist?’   
  
    ‘Mama says no violence,’ Yev disagreed as Mickey began to wipe at the glue, eventually peeling the toy off his son’s face.   
  
    Svetlana walked up behind them, wearing only a bra and some scrub pants. ‘Yevvy, where’s my top?’   
  
    ‘Whoa, put that shit away!’ Mickey cried out. ‘Also, you’re teaching our kid not to punch the kids that fuck with him?’   
  
    Svetlana finally found her shirt and pulled it on, approaching her son and bending down to give a kiss to his hand. ‘These soft hands should not be used for violence. Now, I will be home at midnight if you need me, but you know the drill.’   
  
    ‘Stay with Dad and be good,’ Yev recited.   
  
    ‘Da.’ Svetlana smiled sweetly before kissing his cheek and standing. ‘And make sure your father does not get into any trouble, yes?’   
  
    ‘Oh, just fuck off,’ Mickey huffed before pulling his kid out of Svet’s apartment and heading over to his.   
  


* * *

Leaving the next morning, Mickey was unsurprised as he immediately was shit on by a bird. He groaned, wiping it off and almost getting hit by a car and a bike before continuing on to work. He came in two hours early to work on shit with Mandy and Iggy, excited to hear some of their new stuff. His siblings were talented, no doubt about it, and he just wanted to help them make it. Upon entering, he immediately made his way to the soundboard and sorted a few things out.   
  
    Noticing him, Mandy stopped playing and called out, ‘Mick! How did it go?’   
  
    Mickey gave a noncommittal shrug, not wanting to give away how shit it had really gone.   
  
    ‘So you gave him the songs?’ Mandy prompted, voice growing increasingly suspicious.   
  
    ‘Not exactly,’ Mickey mumbled.   
  
    ‘Mikhailo Milkovich!’ Mandy snapped. ‘Did you or did you not give him our music?!’   
  
    ‘I fuckin’ didn’t get a chance, alright?’ Mickey huffed, flipping off his boss as he gestured for them to shut up. ‘I’ll fix it. I’ll get it done.’   
  
    ‘This has been going on for months, Mick,’ Iggy sighed, scratching the back of his head. ‘It’s time to go home.’   
  
    ‘Wait, no! We can’t go back home. We’re this close,’ Mickey snapped. ‘Give me one week. One fuckin’ week!’   
  
    Mandy and Iggy exchanged a look before nodding. ‘One week.’   
  
    Mickey sighed in relief as they started playing before turning around and rubbing his forehead stressfully. ‘One week.’ 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want me to continue! 
> 
> Tumblr: cantfuckinbelievethis 
> 
> Also open for prompts!


End file.
